Unfair affairs

Affairs don’t happen in a vacuum. They begin in secrecy, grow in shadows, and explode in slow motion, not just within the relationship, but across the lives that orbit it.  

What starts as a personal escape ends as a communal casualty.

Because behind every affair, there are people who never asked to be part of the story, but suffer the consequences anyway.

The ripple effect of betrayal:

Affairs are often framed as private choices between two people. 

But the aftermath is communal.

• Spouses.
• Children.
• Close friends.
• Even colleagues.

Trust doesn’t just break in the bedroom. It shatters in kitchens, classrooms, and family dinners. It leaks into stories told behind lowered voices, into the silence that replaces what used to be easy conversations, and those left behind, the so-called collateral damage, they grieve something they didn’t even break.

The myth of the victimless escape:

Affairs are sometimes romanticized. As passion. As freedom. As destiny defying the ordinary.

But the truth is far less poetic. More often, they are born from avoidance. From the inability to face discomfort within, or confrontation with a partner. And so, rather than heal or leave, one seeks something elsewhere.

The result? Two people get closer while everyone else gets burned.

Children who inherit the silence:

The quietest victims are often the smallest. Children sense the tension even when no one speaks it. They absorb the energy of betrayal, the shift in eye contact, the unspoken blame. They grow up wondering why love is so fragile. Why trust comes with terms and conditions.

They carry confusion into their own relationships, never realizing that the script they follow was written in the aftermath of someone else’s decision.

The weight of the unchosen:

What makes unfair affairs so cruel is that the hurt falls on people who didn’t choose, didn’t ask and didn’t stray.

They become unintended casualties, not because they were unlovable, but because someone couldn’t face their own dissatisfaction out loud. That kind of harm runs deep. Because how do you heal from a wound you didn’t cause, but are forced to carry?

Conclusion:

Yes, relationships are complex. Yes, emotions are messy, but nothing, yes nothing, justifies the wreckage left behind by secrecy.
There is always a better way to leave than through betrayal. There is always a better way to be honest than by exploding the lives of others. So before stepping outside, ask: Is this longing worth the aftermath?
Because unfair affairs don’t just end love stories, they write tragedies for people who never auditioned.

And some of them never fully recover.

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