Tropical arctic


There are people who shine like summer. Laughter that dances. Energy that invites.
Warmth that fills a room like sunlight through palm leaves, b
ut beneath it all, ice. 

This is the paradox of the Tropical Arctic, a soul that radiates warmth on the surface
but carries a winter deep within. A climate of contradiction. 
They charm you with their ease, but disappear when things get real. They hold your hand with warmth, yet their heart never truly thaws.

The illusion of openness:

We’re taught to trust what feels warm, a smile, a joke, a casual touch. But sometimes, warmth is just the weather on the outside. A practiced performance. A hospitality of the ego. You think you’ve found connection. But really, you’ve entered a climate-controlled interaction, where nothing of true depth is allowed to melt through. Underneath the summer vibes: permafrost.

Emotional thermoclines:

In oceanography, a thermocline is where warm water meets cold depths. You can feel that in people too. You swim in their friendliness until, without warning, the temperature drops. They go quiet. They retreat. They become unreadable. You wonder what you did. You question your instincts, but the truth is, this was always their ecosystem. It wasn’t you.

It was their inability to let anyone into the cold.

Where warmth becomes survival:

Sometimes the sunniest people are the ones who had to learn to smile through storms. The jokes were armor. The charism, a survival strategy. Because letting someone into the cold meant risking rejection, judgment, vulnerability. So instead, they stay tropical on the outside, and arctic at the core. It’s not cruelty. It’s conditioning. But it still leaves others freezing in the middle of a sunny day.

The chill of unavailable intimacy:

There’s a special kind of ache in relationships like this. You’re drawn in by warmth, only to find you can’t stay warm. They can flirt, but not commit. They can host, but not open. They can comfort, but never really connect.

They’ll say “I’m here,” but you’ll always feel the frost behind their eyes.

And it leaves you asking:
Can you melt someone’s arctic with enough warmth?

Truth is, only they can light that fire.

Conclusion:

Not every warm presence is emotionally available. Not every cold distance is a reflection of you. The Tropical Arctic is real, and sometimes beautiful in its contradiction, but you deserve climates where warmth goes all the way through. Where what’s on the surface matches what’s inside. Where connection doesn’t freeze when things deepen.

So if you find yourself shivering in the middle of someone’s summer, step back. Warmth should comfort, not confuse.

And remember, you are not made to survive in someone else’s emotional winter.

If this resonated with you, you might love a free short course worksheet, please email me for a list of topics to choose from, thank you. 

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